Enable:
1. Give (someone or something) the authority or means to do something.
synonyms: allow, permit, let, give the means, equip, empower, make able, fit;
antonyms: prevent
There’s a lot of chatter going on right now about the issue of “enabling” the poor and the homeless who rely on nonprofits like New York City Relief for food and other necessities.
I’ve wrestled with this word for some time now and quite honestly, I’m frustrated by some of the conversations that are out there about ministries and services that try to follow the call of God to “feed the hungry” and “clothe the naked.”
I’m equally frustrated by ministries and services that add fuel to the fire by not giving any thought to the longterm consequences and repercussions that occur as a result of well-intentioned, but poorly executed “ministry.”
We give a free, hot meal, a pair of new socks, and a toiletry kit to anyone who happens upon any of our outreach locations, or is happened upon, by one of our many volunteers. We go to the same locations week in and week out and as a result, we end up serving a lot of the same people over and over again.
Now according to the authors of When Helping Hurts, there are basically three phases of care for folks in financial need: relief, rehabilitation, and development. I tell people that New York City Relief’s function is baked right into our title: “relief.”
We provide an emergency meal to folks who may not have sufficient access to food or resources. I met one guy who was referred to the Relief Bus by one of our outreach teams, who around 1 pm literally ate six cups of soup right in front of me. I asked him, “When was your last meal?” His response was, “Yesterday I had some peanut butter crackers.”
Relief.
But as is the case, I know another gentleman who lived a transient life-style for ten years who told me, “you have to be pretty dumb to starve in New York City.” So the question becomes, how do we obey God’s command to “feed the hungry” (Isaiah 58) while not “enabling” others who are not technically hungry to stay stuck in homelessness? How do we keep from feeding the fed, and clothing the clothed?
At New York City Relief we view every cup of soup, every piece of bread, every pair of socks, and every toiletry kit as an opportunity for relationship. We tell our volunteers again and again, “think communion, not charity.”
We are not trying to just feed the masses, we are trying to connect with the individual. If you aim for mass distribution, it is unlikely that you will hit the target of caring for the individual; but if you aim at caring for the individual, it’s possible that you may actually feed the masses “along the way.”
The other reality is that people need relief from more than just “hunger” and “nakedness.” When I say “relief” I mean the word as it is used in When Helping Hurts as the first phase of poverty care. This is, in my opinion, something that the authors miss, or at least minimize.
People who are in desperate physical need are almost always in desperate emotional need as well, and sometimes the emotional rehab and development that is required will never happen if someone doesn’t first risk “enabling” someone’s poverty, in an effort to provide emotional relief.
Maybe that cup of soup we offer “enables” someone to manage one more day before hitting rock bottom so that he or she doesn’t need to reach out for rehab or development. And if we were just shoving soup at people and going about our day, I would agree that it is possible we are doing more harm than good.
But we are not trying to just give out food, we are trying to make friends. We are trying to earn the right to speak into people’s lives one at a time. We are trying to provide emergency emotional relief as well as tangible physical relief.
For the man who uses drugs because no one has ever succeeded in convincing him that life is worth living, for the woman who continually gets abused and insulted by the one person who tells her, “I love you,” sometimes a smiling face, a kind word, and a prayer over a free meal is the difference between life and death.
The answer that I have landed on is simply that we are not trying to “enable” dependency, but that we are attempting to “enable” relationship.
Enabling dependency is selfish, ie. “I’m giving food to the poor so that I will feel good about myself.” Enabling dependency is easy. Enabling dependency is short-sighted. Enabling dependency is condescending. Enabling dependency is cleaner. Enabling dependency is often simple.
On the other hand, enabling relationship is complicated. It involves getting your hands dirty. Enabling relationship means paying for lunch. Enabling relationship is humble. Enabling relationship is “other oriented.” Enabling relationship means refusing to allow a difference in race, gender, sexual orientation, religion or socioeconomic standing to block the connection that happens when two humans sit down together and share a meal. Enabling relationship almost always takes more than one try. Enabling relationship is always about love. Enabling relationship always looks like Jesus. And as Paul the Apostle says,
“If I gave everything I have to the poor and even sacrificed my body, I could boast about it; but if I didn’t love others, I would have gained nothing.” 1 Corinthians 13:3 NLT.
Grace and Peace,
Josiah
