It's often hard to know if you're really making a difference.
I mean, when you show up to work everyday and you keep fighting the same battles again and again, it can start to feel hopeless. Pointless. Futile.
I know, I've been there.
I mean I've been working in full time ministry, as an outreach leader to men and women who are experiencing homelessness for almost 9 years, in a city where more people sleep in shelters than the entire population of 16 US capitals.
How can I possibly make a dent?
What possible difference can I make?
There's a woman who comes to our outreach in Harlem. I’ll call her Samantha.
I literally met her on one of my first days doing outreach. There was a fight that broke out on the sidewalk and I was attempting to de-escalate the situation by telling them I was going to call the cops.
Samantha pulled me aside and yelled at me, “I know you're new, but don't ever threaten to call the cops. These guys dont care. They will come back here and shoot up this bus.”
I didn’t know if she was just being dramatic, so I said, “Fine! Then help me out!”
She did.
She walked right up to one of the guys who was swinging and took him by the arm and walked him away.
Samantha and I were instantly friends.
She told me that she had a problem with crack and alcohol. She grew up in a nice area with a wealthy family, but it was a toxic environment.
She started partying and then her life started spiraling.
When I met her she was in the street, selling her body for drugs and surviving for the next hit. She would show up in the morning lucid and friendly, but by the time lunch came around she was nodding out, spilling on herself, and falling over.
One time, she approached me and asked if we had any jeans. Since we dont have clothes at the Relief Bus, I went home, raided my wife’s closet and found several pairs. When I brought them to her the next day Samantha cried tears of joy.
Later that year, I found out her birthday was coming up, so I got her a gift card to H&M so she could buy her own jeans. We got her a cake and sang happy birthday. It was beautiful. She cried some more.
A few years later, our entire staff celebrated with her when she finally got her own apartment. It was a huge deal!
We also found a way to get her a new mattress because her building didn’t allow tenants to bring used ones indoors for fear of bed bugs.
But I still see her at the Relief Bus. And the victories we have seen quickly get swallowed up in the jaws of defeat.
A few months ago, I watched as she couldn't stand up straight for nearly 2 hours, because her addiction is still holding her in bondage. She lashed out at me for trying to convince her to go home. She still has problems. She still needs a miracle.
9 years.
And while she isn’t technically homeless anymore it's easy to think that she isn't much better off. It’s easy to think that I made no difference.
If you are doing the work of God just so you can see the fruit of your labor, you will not last. If what keeps you serving the poor and fighting injustice is the perceived “success” of your ministry, you’ve already lost. We need to pursue victory. We need to fight for those who can’t fight for themselves. But it’s so easy to get disheartened when the problems are so huge. It’s so easy to measure our efforts with the scales of progress and come up short.
And this applies to every area of our lives no matter where you are.
Maybe you’re in a job that just feels all wrong. Maybe you’re in a relationship that seems to be stalled. Maybe you’re dealing with an addiction that you cannot beat.
The hope we have as a community of faith is not in the gradual improvement of society. The hope we cling to is that Jesus will use our efforts to make a difference in this world whether we see the progress or not.
The fact is, God doesn’t call us to be successful; God calls us to be faithful.
“Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for. By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible. By faith Abel brought God a better offering than Cain did. By faith he was commended as righteous, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith Abel still speaks, even though he is dead. By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death: “He could not be found, because God had taken him away.” For before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God. And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
“By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family. By his faith he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness that is in keeping with faith. By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God. And by faith even Sarah, who was past childbearing age, was enabled to bear children because she considered him faithful who had made the promise. And so from this one man, and he as good as dead, came descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore. All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth.”
“People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. Ifthey had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.”
Hebrews 11:1-16 NIV
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider him who endured such opposition from sinners, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart.”
Hebrews 12:1-3 NIV
My friends, we are not called to be successful. We are called to be faithful.
I cannot fix my eyes on the realities of pain and poverty in this world and continue to live by faith. The author says, “fix your eyes on Jesus. The pioneer and perfecter of... faith.”
So my question is simple: what are your eyes fixed on?
If your gaze is fixed on success, outcomes, progress, even forward motion, you will constantly find yourself frustrated and stuck. Our world is broken. But we are a people of faith! What is broken can be restored! What is dead can be resurrected! We must aim for Jesus, and trust that outcomes and metrics will be accomplished along the way. Because if we aim for outcomes, we will grow weary and lose heart.
By faith we see a world where homelessness and addiction are dead and gone. By faith we see communities coming together across racial, socioeconomic, and cultural lines. By faith we see a world where we love our neighbors as our selves.
So fix your eyes on Jesus, and keep on walking. In spite of opposition, in spite of losing battles, in spite of perpetual failure, fix your eyes on Jesus because one day, by faith, you will see just how much of a difference one person can make.
