What’s the point? Why should we bother to do the seemingly thankless job of “spending ourselves in behalf of the hungry” as it says in Isaiah 58? I can’t even count the number of times over the last 7 years where every effort that I made to invest in someone didn’t generate any obvious return or positive outcome.
There was a young lady who usually hung out on the corner of Park Ave and E 125th Street. She was obviously unwell. She kept a shawl over one eye and would behave erratically. She was dressed in rags that would leave large sections of her body exposed and would shout at people around her, both visible and invisible. One day I was leading the outreach in Harlem and I had a line of people waiting to speak to me. As I spoke to one person after another, I noticed this same woman about two back from the front. As she never expressed any interest to talk to anybody on our team, I decided to ask the others who were ahead of her if they would mind waiting for a few minutes while I spoke with her. They graciously agreed.
“Hi there. My name is Josiah, what’s yours?” I cautiously extended my hand.
“I think I’m demon possessed, can you help me?” Not what I was expecting.
“Probably. Do you have a few minutes to talk?”
“Yes.”
I led her to the office in the front of the Relief Bus and sat down with her. Then I asked a question that you never plan on using, “What makes you think that you’re demon possessed?” She proceeded to tell me about her religious views, her drug addiction(s), her abortions, her kids, and most importantly, her abuse. We talked for about 15 minutes at which point I offered to pray over her. She reluctantly agreed.
“Jesus, this is your daughter. She needs your intervention in her life. She needs your mercy. Your forgiveness. Your hope. With the authority of Jesus Christ, the one who died on the cross and rose again on the third day, I rebuke anything that is clinging to my friend here. Fall back. Let her be. You have no authority over her.”
I prayed with my eyes open. She just stared right back at me. No shaking, crying, shrieking, or anything. Stillness. Empty eyes.
“Amen.” She kept staring at me.
“Can I ask you a question?” I decided to push a little deeper.
“Sure.”
“Have you ever thought about getting into a program to help you stop using crack?”
“Yeah. But it never works out.”
“Can I try to help?”
“Sure.”
I talked to her about a program in Garrison, NY where women could get a fresh start. I asked her if she was willing to talk to one of their intake counselors.
“Sure.”
We called the intake number and 45 minutes later I was helping her onto a train that would take her out of the city and to the program.
The next day I was back in Harlem and as I was trying to rotate the volunteers, I heard someone shouting near E 125th Street. I looked up, and sure enough, there she was, complete with a shawl over one eye, staring down a guy who happened to be walking by. I noticed that she was wearing some new clothing that she must have gotten at the program. I called the program later and found out that she didn’t even stay for an hour.
What’s the point? Let’s start with what the point is NOT, shall we?
The point is not to shove people who aren’t ready into drug programs. The point is not to hide all the people in our society that make us uncomfortable and remind us that we have a lot of work to do. The point is not to pat ourselves on the back and say, “look how awesome we are!” The point is not to pity the less fortunate and be thankful for all the “blessings” that we have.
After seven years of doing this work with countless “failures” and false starts, I think the point is simply to remember that value is defined by presence, and not by productivity. With every failed attempt to help someone get off the street, we are given the opportunity to redefine how worth is ascribed. If Jesus died on the cross and rose from the dead to save us from our sins because he believed that we were worth the effort, then we are left with a simple question: what are the people living in poverty, brokenness, and homelessness worth?
If you think your investment is only as valuable as the return that you get, you will be perpetually disappointed and you will constantly attach strings and expectations to your generosity that will drain the power out of your sacrifice. If you are constantly measuring the impact of your giving based on the outcomes that you see, you will eventually grow tired of constantly scanning the horizon for some indication that you are doing the right thing.
But what if the person lying in the street, or the husband that you married when you were young, or the kid that just won’t get his crap together, is intrinsically valuable? What if the outcomes of your investment are not contingent on their receptivity, but on your generosity?
So what’s the point? The point is that Jesus reveals a God who believes that our worth is not defined by our abilities and our accomplishments, but by our very existence. And if we want to call ourselves Christians, we’d better start choosing to love and care for those who have seemingly no intention or inclination to accept what we are offering, or even to say, “thank you.”
To live and love like Jesus means ascribing worth to the worthless, hope to the hopeless, and mercy to the merciless, regardless of what they do with it along the way.
The point is to be salt and light in a tasteless and dark world that is desperate for a reason to exist. I have no idea where that woman is today. I have no idea if she is even alive.
So what was the point? She was. She was the point. I can’t say that my effort made any longterm difference in her lifestyle or in her spirituality, but I can say that in as much as it was up to me, I was was able to affirm her worth as a daughter of God, bought and paid for, with the precious blood of Jesus. I pray that you are able to find someone to love regardless of what he or she does with it because only then will you get a glimpse of how God feels about you.
